Sharing Family Stories

At the dinner table last night, the subject of story-telling came up. Now, for context, this conversation with my two teenage children was taking place at the tail-end of extended school holidays (Melbourne = Lockdown Town!) , during which they have enjoyed a LOT of doing NOT MUCH AT ALL – and the accompanying mental freedom to reflect, be bored (of course!), be curious, and mind-wander.

Teenager One happened to let slip that he felt he learned more about life and the universe through chatting at the table than they did in a whole day of school. Now, for the record, our conversations are NOT especially intellectual! But they do include lots of discussions about 1) REAL LIFE attitudes held, experiences lived, character traits observed – from the present and the past, from the world in general, but also of our FAMILY- and 2) our responses to these. The conversations sometimes end in laughter, and sometimes sadness, or wonderment. They pretty much always result in some sort of new insight.

At last night’s round-table discussion (yes, you guessed it; our table is round!), Teenager Two threw in how much he remembers all the times in their Grandma’s car after school pick-ups when she would play the Greek legends CD. And how he finds it extraordinary that his Auntie has a mind-blowing ability to recall dates, facts, and events in an instant, and relay this information in such a way that it is always connected and pertinent to the moment. He said he would like to develop that skill too!

I closed my eyes at that moment, and for a split second I could imagine T2 relaying these acquired-in-childhood feelings of love and wonder, to HIS grandchildren and they in turn to theirs.
(‘’Mary-Lou, did you know that Your Great Grandpa A, when HE was a boy, he just LOVED the Greek legends, JUST LIKE YOU. And his own Grandma did too!’’ And suddenly 10 year old Mary Lou feels AFFIRMED and mysteriously part of something BIGGER, even if all the kids in her Grade 5 class tease her for liking such things as nerdy Greek Legends.) OR suddenly
( in the Year 2131A.D. 60-year-old Mary-Lou, reading about Great-Grandpa A in his Legacy Statement – because she only recently acquired an interest in family history and the headspace to revel in it – is DELIGHTED to realise that HER lifelong love of history and folk legends is not unique to her, but rather a part of a rich family tradition. Nothing comes from nothing, she thinks, as a new sense of herself as a critical conduit from past to future seeps through her. I MUST let my Grandson Freddy know, she thinks to herslef, he’s been copping it at school lately for being a history-loving nerd)

Shared stories within families – the good, the bad, and the ugly – are the ultimate navigational tool. They are a COMPASS. From access to them, we can measure our own development and progress. From them we can choose to EXTRACT or REJECT the lessons they will invariably contain. Through access to family stories, we are empowered to ADJUST our own sails in our lifetime.

But what if there is no family compass? What if there is a void-like absence of rich connecting conversations in the present? No tangible access to ideas, thoughts, voices, and conversations of your generational past?

And so … as I stacked the dishwasher, I felt a rush of GRATITUDE for all the stories I have been fortunate enough to inherit and learn from because, along the way, someone in the family has taken the time, love and effort to SHARE them.

Today’s suggested task: I invite you to share in a post:What is an example of a family story, or a piece of knowledge from YOUR family’s past, that has positively or negatively shaped not only YOU but your children and perhaps even theirs?